.
-
As soon as you
pass the last
rest-stop for
the next 90
miles, someone
will need to
stop.
-
At birthday
parties, parents
are usually
early to drop
off their kids,
and late to pick
them up.
-
The child you
are currently
dealing with is
always treated
more unfairly
than his
siblings.
-
The child you
are currently
dealing with is
always required
to do more work
than his
siblings.
-
You no longer
have to lock up
your favorite
candy stash.
Just put it on
the stairs under
the folded
laundry and no
one will touch
it.
-
If a kid
suddenly offers
to do dishes or
clean the house,
it is either for
money or credit
for a school
project.
-
I don't have to
use a road map--
I can just use
the veins on my
legs.
-
If I had to
choose one voice
in the world to
have instead of
my own, it would
be Daddy's.
-
Your teens get
more enjoyment
out of watching
you cry at the
sad parts of the
video than they
do in watching
the video.
-
Hearing your
three teens
singing their
way through the
hymnbook "just
for fun" is more
gratifying than
any CD you will
ever buy.
-
"An object at
rest tends to
stay at rest" is
a law written to
describe the
contents of your
child's bedroom.
-
"An object in
motion tends to
stay in motion"
is a law written
by a parent with
toddlers.
-
I've learned to
quickly tell the
difference
between a good
disposable
diaper and a bad
one.
-
If you say, "It
looks like I'll
get to bed early
tonight," you
won't.
-
A child's
thank-you letter
takes 25 times
as long to
formulate as a
Christmas/birthday
wish list.
-
There is no use
crying over
spilled baby
cereal on a
wicker chair.
-
The people that
know best how
you should be
raising your
kids are never
free to
baby-sit.
-
An Emmy is never
more deserved
than by a child
just asked to
clean her room.
-
Fridges were
designed because
children needed
a cardboard box
big enough to
make a slide or
playhouse.
-
Every parent
possesses many
valuable pieces
of artwork that
didn't cost them
a thing.
-
Your child
driving at 50
miles an hour is
suddenly much
faster than when
you drive at 50
miles an hour.
-
When you help
your children
with their math
homework, you
suddenly realize
how little you
learned in math.
-
The bags under
your eyes do not
disappear until
at least three
years after the
birth of your
last child.
-
Mothers alone
hold the secret
recipe for
refilling
ice-cube trays.